Meaningful Suffering

This is for my friends, my dear friends who are suffering. I couldn’t sleep last night for my heart aches for you.

As I woke to some small twinge of pain in my abdomen, my fear gave way to the thought of scar tissue growing…and when would it give way to another emergency surgery. I feel like I’m on borrowed time. I’ve always been a worst case scenerio gal and well it haunts me at times. We are all on borrowed time aren’t we?

We just aren’t guaranteed tomorrow.

I’ve been blessed with a happy season of weddings galore and the joy that comes with that youthful season of life. But that’s not where all of my friends are right now. This post is for you.

I had created a personal blog 2 years ago to help me heal from frustration in that situation…which I admit is far milder than any I’ve faced since and seen friends endure, but it was my battlefield. Here’s a link if you are interested, Redefined Strength.

Last night as I wept for my sweet bride who a year ago was walking down the isle and today faces a scary pregnancy with real possibility of just minutes with her child once he or she is born, I ache for God’s perspective. I plead on her behalf for a miracle. He is able. My precious, dear friend who just lost her bestie to ovarian cancer now faces her sister fighting the same fate. I beg for healing. He is able.

I can’t explain it as well as John Piper and Shane & Shane, so I wont try. But as I went through my own small-scale battlefield 2 years ago, my sister in Christ, Kim sent me this video and it spoke volumes of truth into my shattered sense of “normal”. Shane & Shane put my heart into words and worship and music. John Piper speaks from the Spirit at the end and it’s so worth the watching.

For my dear friends in the suffering, know it has meaning. We may not understand His ways, but He is real & He is good.

From a moma’s message to me last night as she too was up late weeping for her own child:

“It’s easy to believe that God is good when life is good, but if we don’t learn to trust Him when it’s bad, we really miss out on knowing Him in the way He wants us to. I am very confident that He will give HIS strength to them as they trust Him. Goodness! I want them both to know God deeply but I hate what it takes to get there.”

I loved this part and hope her daughter reads this knowing it is for her…

“I’m extremely proud of her and so thankful to see her acknowledging her pain and anger because with that also comes the sweet surrender to God that He deserves. We can’t know all that He is doing but I can see how He’s using this…”

I wear an ampersand tee I bought from She Reads Truth as a reminder to this very revelation. In Daniel when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were heading into the fiery furnace, they boldly said, He can deliver us, & even if He doesn’t, He is still good. So in your weakness, in your pain, have no doubt in Him.

& He is still good.

This was my own heart’s cry 2 years ago and still speaks to me. Sometimes we have to cry out to God with all our tears, all our anger, all our weaknesses…He can handle all of it.