Fearfully and wonderfully made.

It’s tough getting older. I’ve never been super happy about the idea, to be honest. I see the battle wounds of the years past and sometimes they can be debilitating. Sometimes they paralyze. I miss the days of being young and blissfully ignorant to the hate and discontent this world brings. But, I wasn’t ever confident in who I was back then and I still struggle with that today.

I came across an instagram post today by a very brave young lady and it made me pause. I’ve had this verse as my lock screen on my phone for over a week now and today it’s meaning finally hit home for me.

“Guard that good thing entrusted to you” 2 Timothy 1:14

Honestly, I’ve read it over and over again trying to let it sink in and all this time I was waiting to have my eyes opened by a confident, strong teenager.

I couldn’t wrap my head around “what’s my good thing?” I struggle so deeply with feeling unworthy. I don’t know why…maybe it’s first born, perfectionist, type A personality. The answer is too convoluted to go there. But I do know with all certainty, I’m not perfect and I make mistakes every single day. And I also know there has to be something God wants me to guard that is good and that has been entrusted to me.

I think I have found my answer. He’s entrusted me to me. My body has been entrusted to me as is His temple and should be cared for as such. My mind has been entrusted to me and is meant to think only on those things that are true and noble and pure. My heart has been entrusted to me and should be guarded above all else, for everything I do flows from it. My children have been entrusted to me to raise them up in the way they should go. My husband has been entrusted to me to honor and respect. My calling, my business, has been entrusted to me to serve His people. All these are good things. All these have been entrusted to me.

The lie is I’m not worthy. The lie is there isn’t anything good entrusted to me. And it is so easy to believe the eyes that roll when I am trying to overcome all that I’ve been, all that I can be, and often all that I still am. BUT, I am not those things in my Father’s eyes. There is NOTHING wrong with being who you are in Christ. Make no mistake, we will go to the cross daily for our sins because we will struggle against the flesh every single day. But…

God says I was made for more. You were made for more.

I want to believe that. And yet I find myself caught in the passage of Mark 9:24, ” I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Today I need to be reminded that I am nothing less than His. And He calls me worthy.

Today I will thank God for who He has made me. Fearfully and wonderfully made.

Today I will thank God for the people in my life that help me see the best in me.